Letting Go of Needing Others to Understand- Navigating Chronic Illness

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Last week, I got side blasted. In your face personal challenge on my own health care choices, care of my family, and just general way of my being. From family. Not fun. Not awesome. And I'm grateful for it.

If you've been faced with tough choices regarding your health (or parenting, or care for a parent, or educational choice, or was ever self treating a common cold), there is someone, somewhere that knows how you could do it better.

You know what you need to do...

If you'd just stop...

My cousin Bob's wife has a friend who totally cured her ____ with just____. I gave her your phone number.

And I'm so freakin' excited about how I reacted! Let me re-word that- I didn't react. I calmly chose how to act in response. Totally high fivin' myself right now just thinking about it. After what seemed like 20 minutes of trying to calmly acknowledge concerns and criticisms, I finally said,

"I have let go of the need for you to understand. If you understood, that would mean you had this same dis-ease and I wouldn't wish that for you."

Bam. Totally. Changes. Everything.

If asked, I will gladly share what's working and what's not. Medical studies, gut health and food choices, books, bloggers, and woo-woo theorists with family and strangers. 

If asked, I will listen with an open heart to concerns, fears, stories of healing... and magazine clippings.

But I no longer feel any need to breathlessly explain or defend. And, friends, it's a pretty awesome feeling.

My next post will have a handy dandy list of kind and hopefully neutralizing replies to very common things people say...but really shouldn't. 

First comes letting go. Of attachment to what others do with the information you share, of their feelings or fears, of their choices.

Then you can respond with love for yourself and for them.

Have you ever felt under attack for your choices? How did you handle it? What works for you?

xo,

Amy

Permission: Just Watching the Waves

Today I am giving myself permission to simply look at the sea.

Growing up at the beach, and in particular at a famous tourist beach, I have wondered at people who simply set themselves up in the sand and...spend the day looking at the sea.

To me, the sea was for diving through, scooping under waves, attempting to ride it, being tumbled around in it's waves then coming up to gasp for air and doing it all over again. Even when my boys were little I was busy running in the waves with them. The sea was my foe and my friend. 

I'm finding a peace with walking on the shore. Just sitting in the sand, watching. Breathing in the salty, and sometimes stinky, sea air. I can hear sea gulls as I write this and not that long ago it would make my heart ache to not feel strong enough to brave the waters. Today I am well enough to tuck our little girl in the car and walk along the shore. 

And for today that is enough.